Non-Penetrative Sex: Having Amazing Sex Without Penetration
So you’ve decided not to include any innie in your intercourse. So what’s the alternative? Outercourse, of course. But what exactly IS outercourse? That’s kinda up to who is engaging, but in its most basic meaning, outercourse is non-penetrative sex.
What is "Non-penetrative Sex"?
Non-penetrative sex is an umbrella term that includes using fingers, hands, or genital-to-genital contact, and in some cases, toys and oral stimulation. To clarify, there are two schools of thought when it comes to what “penetration” actually means. For some, it means no penetration of any kind. No fingers, no toys, no anal, and no mouths. For others, it means everything except penis-in-vagina sex. The good thing is, none of it is rock hard solid. The definition is as fluid as any aroused orifice would be.
Choosing what non-penetrative sex means to you is just as personal a decision as choosing why it’s important. For some, abstinence is the goal. For others, it may be the best option as you or your partner heal from emotional, mental, or physical injury or illness. Maybe you ran out of condoms, or just want to try something new. Or maybe you want to because it can be MIND-BLOWING.
How to engorge your gorge?
There’s no formula. There are 31 erogenous zones in the collective human body and only four are internal, so there are a lot of ways to play around. Pleasure doesn’t have to culminate with an orgasm. Pleasure can simply just BE. By stimulating any one of the remaining 27 erogenous zones, or caressing your partner anywhere (everywhere) or in any way that pleases them, you’d be sure to tickle them pink. If you’ve never had non-penetrative sex, and you aren’t sure where to start, have fun exploring your partner. Go slowly, checking for consent, and vary locations, pressure, rhythms, speed, and tools.
If you are a little more in the know about how you blow, think about throwing a little kink in the mix. Since we are choosing our own adventure in this salacious story, what’s considered kinky is up to you; Kink is about exploration and switching things up. This doesn’t have to be particularly raunchy: remember that kink is normal in any form. If you are into more sticky stuff, and raunch is your thing, test out your fetishes against the boundaries of non-penetrative sex. The most important thing here is to listen to your partner, and always have a safe word.
Vulva-to-Vulva Non-penetrative Sex
Tribbing, or tribadism, (or humping, hunching, bumping cooch, etc.) is when two partners with vulvas stimulate each other by rubbing their crotches together. While it doesn’t hit the spot for everyone, most peach lovers with their own fuzzy fruit find it to be quite delectable. There are several ways to get the absolute most out of vulva-to-vulva non-penetrative sex:
SCISSORINGis probably the most notorious, probably because it’s the most rewarding. If you can imagine the inner blades of two pairs of scissors crossing each other, then you get the idea. This requires some flexibility and stamina. Have your partner get on their side, while you are on your back. Once the vulvas connect, use each other’s legs to brace yourself. For maximum pleasure, roll your hips together so that you get clit-on-clit action.
VELVET VOLCANObrings scissoring to the next level. To erupt with pleasure, adjust this move so that you are both sitting up, facing each other. Still entwined, lean back on your own arms, lift your butt, and merge to mop mounds.
KNOTTY NAUGHTYis even more intimate. While sitting upright, have your partner lay on their side in front of you and scooch their cooch until the crevices connect. In this position, you are in control.
MISSIONARYsounds boring, but don’t hit snooze just yet. This is by far one of the most intimate ways to tussle your muscles. It’s exactly what you expect, with one partner on their back, legs wide. The other partner should wedge in between so that they are vulva-to-vulva. To make this hotter, place a pillow under your partner’s bottom. Bend your knees slightly so that your arms support your weight.
SADDLERis similar to missionary, but this time, instead of laying on top of your partner, sit on them, wrapping your legs around their waist, and ride till the cow’s come home. Just kidding. But you can grind like you’ve got a lasso in the air, flicking bean against bean.
REVERSE SADDLERis exactly as you would imagine. Just turn around from before, slide your slit to seduction and lean forward, using your partner’s thighs for support.
Some of these moves are perfect for beginners while others are best suited for the seasoned slicker. These non-penetrative sex moves have a few tips in common that can make them all snatch your breath away. For starters, lube is your forever friend. No matter how your honey drips, adding a little anointing always helps. There’s no such thing as too much so slather away.
You are definitely going to want to stretch before. And maybe after. Trust this. You don’t necessarily need to be fit, but you will be using your muscles in a new way. It’s best to prepare your body.
Finally, toys are a game-changer. While petting puss can be a fun and intimate way to play, adding a toy you can both enjoy doubles the pleasure and the fun. Try out the Together Couple’s Vibrator. It works with every move above and because it is specifically designed to accommodate eye-to-eye contact, and feel your partner’s arousal, its 3 speeds, and dual rabbits are not going to be an inside secret for long. Thankfully, it’s waterproof!
Non-penetrative sex comes in many forms. You don’t have to stop here. Feel free to explore what works for you and your partner. From fingering and fisting to taking the tongue plunge, getting it on to get off (or not) can be as adventurous or as vanilla as you’d like. The only boundaries are the ones you and your partner(s) set for yourselves. Have a chat about what you like and do some research. Soon you will be dripping with ideas. In case you’re hard up for suggestions, work through this list and figure out what non-penetrative sex means for you, and how you can flavor your finagling.