Trans Lesbian Sex 101 - Sex Tips for Transexual Sex - Pleasure Guide by Together Vibes

Trans Lesbian Sex 101

Trans Lesbian Sex 101 - Sex Tips for Transexual Sex - Pleasure Guide by Together Vibes

Your own journey

First, a little housekeeping. Trans identities are complex, as is every other identity. Because of a mix of misinformation and lack of information, there is this nonsensical, monolithic idea of what being a transgender person is or means. Every trans person has their own story, their own journey, and their own way of discussing who they are. It’s ever-evolving, and the truth is, none of it is your business until they decide otherwise. If they do, honor that place of trust. 

Trans identities are on a spectrum. Beyond MTF and FTM, they can identify as he, she, they, neither, both, or nonbinary. And it can be situational. Not all trans folks have dysmorphia or are interested in changing parts of their bodies. Not all have or even want surgeries. Whatever is happening between their legs isn’t your business until they say so, so don’t make assumptions about what is or isn’t, or how the trans person in your life should be touched in an intimate setting. 

Starting with a conversation

As with any relationship, having difficult but important conversations can be the difference between genuine intimacy in and out of the bedroom, and just sex. Having a chat can bridge the gap that leads to the trust that great relationships are made of. Before that convo can happen, though, it’s really important to figure out what you like. Many people use porn, literature, and self-exploration to figure out their sexual desires, but for AMAB (Assigned Male At Birth) folks that identify as women, this journey is very different. Most porn is produced and directed by cis men and their proclivities, and it rarely suits (or is even relatable to) anyone who isn’t also a cis male. Literature can be easier to - ahem - come by, but let’s be honest, these days, most people want microwaved information; to learn as much as they can as quickly as they can. If it’s not a 60-second video, some people are just not going to give it the time of day. Lastly there is self-exploration. That includes masturbation but doesn’t have to. Self-exploration should feel good, but if your body doesn’t align with what you think it should be, masturbation could deepen feelings of dysphoria. It’s especially important for a trans person to figure out what kind of touches feel true to them and make them feel like the sexy being they are. Even though this can be a difficult and emotional process, on the other side of it is being sure of what you do and do not like so you can share this information with the people who are lucky enough to be your lovers.

For Partners

For those who are partnered with a trans person, be mindful that anatomy plays a significant part in how they see themselves. You should not only be affirming in how you speak about their genitalia, but also in how you touch your partner. Having the aforementioned conversation gives everyone a chance to be of one accord. Don’t assume that your partner wants to penetrate just because they have a penis, or that they want to be penetrated if they don’t. Just ask. It varies from person to person. 

Part of the exploration process is experimentation with someone you trust. What sounds good in theory may not feel great in practice but the opposite is also true. What you weren’t into might be awesome in real life. Go slowly, and try out different kinds of stimulation. Don’t be afraid to say that you don’t know how to touch your partner. They can show you. Likewise, don’t be afraid to tell your partner what you don’t like. An up and down motion for an MTF trans person may trigger some unwanted feelings, so don’t default to that stimulation. You can try applying pressure like hard stippling or squeezing, or even making circular motions. A little lube and an open mind can go a very long way here. 

Oral Stimulation

Oral sex is also on the table, depending on what your partner is into. It’s worth having the conversation. Some women love to receive oral sex and some don’t. That isn’t dependent on their genitalia or how they identify. 

The Positively Pleasurable Perineum

Lastly, stimulating the perineum is a great way to initiate pleasurable erotic sensations that have very little to do with the penis. The most well-known way to access this area is through the anus, but you can deliver some pretty hot pressure via the “taint”. This smooth area is behind the genitals but before the anus accesses the “p-spot” when the right pressure is applied. From there, it’s just a matter of rhythm and depth. You can use your hands or a vibrating sex toy. Some prefer a large massager for those deep impactful thrusts.

All in all, trans lesbian sex does not have to be daunting. Like any other intimate situation, communication, consent, trust, and an open mind will help you and your partner go the distance in the bedroom, and in life.