Lesbian Sex 101: A Guide on How To Have Lesbian Sex - Pleasure Guides by Together

Lesbian Sex 101

Lesbian Sex 101: A Guide on How To Have Lesbian Sex - Pleasure Guides by Together

Ready to dive deep into the lady pond? Figuring out how to have lesbian sex for the first time can be a bit much to take in. No matter how sexually experienced you consider yourself, the transition comes with a few curves and only some of them are for learning. 

But first things first, In order to figure out how to have lesbian sex, you need to know what it is. There are many types of women so there are many kinds of unions.

What Is Lesbian Sex?

Lesbian sex can be with a cisgender woman and a trans woman, two cisgender women or two trans women. Either can identify as bi, straight, queer, or just going with a flow and being adventurous. This means there are also many ways that lesbian sex can play out. Most people are aware of oral sex and “scissoring”, also known as tribbing, but manual (digital) sex is an important element, as well as masturbation, either as a solo or a mutual act. Penetrative sex is also and option, and penetration could be with fingers, sex toys or strap-on dildos.

How To Have Lesbian Sex

1. Start Solo

To figure out what you might in your journey to discover how to have lesbian sex, you have to get in there. No. Really. Use your figures (and some good lube) to touch around your genitals to figure out what you like. If you have a vulva, softly touch your inner and outer lips, tickle your clitoris and figure out whether your left or right side is more sensitive. Yes, that’s a thing. Try inserting your fingers. Massage your taint. Knowing what you like will help you to communicate your needs to your partner. Additionally, knowing what you like can help you have an idea of what your partner may be into if they also have a vulva. Pro tip: Use a mirror to really look at yourself and your parts. Get used to what’s going on down there so you aren’t taken by total surprise when it’s time to engage.

2. Learn The Importance of Communication and Consent

Before anything goes down (hehe), have a good long talk with your partner. Discuss your expectations, your likes and dislikes, and what you want to explore. This is also a good time to discuss hard boundaries. Some people don’t like for their nipples to be touched. Some folks don’t like penetration while others prefer both. Believe it or not, some are not into giving or receiving oral sex, so it’s best to know these things going in. Still, even though you have had the chat, asking for consent as you go is a great way to check in with your partner to see that they are not only okay with what’s happening, but that they are enjoying themselves, and you.

A huge misconception is that you don’t need to worry about STIs. While it’s true that you don’t need to protect from pregnancy, passing along infections is a very real concern. Using a barrier like a dental dam is a responsible way to protect yourself. Likewise, broken skin can create an opportunity for bacteria to grow so remember to keep your nails cut close, buffed and rounded, and to always wash your hands before and after touching genitals. 

3. Explore With A Partner

Exploring positions is easily the most fun part of figuring out how to have lesbian sex. It can also be awkward and cumbersome so having some direction before you get going is a good idea. Remember earlier when we talking about manual sex, aka fingering your partner? One thing you can do is to have your partner sit in front of you with their back against your chest. You can then massage their vulva as though it’s yours. This is a position and angle you should be familiar with having masturbated while prepping. 

One of the best lesbian sex positions is to scooch close to each other while sitting upright. In this position, lots of magic can happen. You can masturbate, or finger each other. You can prop yourself up on your arms and rub your vulvas together for maximum stimulation. You can also use toys meant for mutual stimulation like the Together Vibrator that allows mutual penetration and clit stimulation. It’s also equipped with a real-time-feedback response so that you can know when your partner is pulsating inside. 


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After you figure out how to have lesbian sex, the exploration gets more fun and in-depth. Before you go too deep, check in with yourself and your partner to discuss how your needs and expectations were met, or not. Slipping down the sapphic slide can take a psychological toll as you adjust to a new version of yourself, but it doesn’t have to be that intense. Having a chat can alleviate some of that anxiety.

Whether you lick it or stick it, once you know how to have lesbian sex, you can bet there are at least 69 more ways to do the things you really enjoyed so keep at it. Riding a face can be like riding a stationary bike: lots of benefits and almost impossible to fall off.